Saturday, October 29, 2005

Some George Bush Quotes

Some George Bush Quotes.....these are real.....


"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- George W. Bush

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- George W. Bush

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one
word is 'to be prepared'."
- George W. Bush

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the
future." -George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow."
George W. Bush

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
- George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- George W. Bush

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm
commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe." George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy."
George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
George W. Bush

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- George W. Bush

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- George W. Bush

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
- George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it." -George W. Bush

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- George W. Bush

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Excerpts from HER & HIS diaries

Excerpts from HER & HIS diaries.

Don't read HIS Diary first.

HER DIARY

I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home, I told him that I loved him, but he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I fell asleep. I do not know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

India lost the match again. DAMN IT! It goes on.

Giant Paint brush

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Why men r happier than women

Chocolate is just another snack.

We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell us the truth.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

We know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

We can open all our own jars.

We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.

Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Everything on our face stays its original color.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

We don't have to shave below our neck.

Our belly usually hides our big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.

We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes

Monday, October 17, 2005

Microsoft Waiter

Microsoft Waiter

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[The waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!


The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00

Saturday, October 15, 2005

And they didn't know ...

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion aboutsolutions to the foodshortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant

In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant

In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant

In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant

In the Middle East they didn't know what'solution' meant

In South America they didn't know what 'please'meant

The most interesting one.....And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest ofthe world' meant!!!

Friday, October 14, 2005

Power of PEE

Singapore’s Institute of Bioengineering, in an effort to make everything as clean as possible, is working on a urine-powered biobattery. When a drop of urine is added to the copper chloride paper, a chemical reaction takes place and produces electricity, which is harnessed by the battery. A few drops will generate about 1.5 volts, the same as a AA battery. The battery needs to be developed further to make it commercially viable.The devices will be used in medical testing systems which can be powered by and test the same liquid stream simultaneously. So, next time when ur mobile battery is down, just take a leak.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Windows Vista

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Why its important to smile in pictures?

Forwarded by Sivakumar ...

Friday, October 07, 2005

What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the
spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American,
using Bill Gate's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that uses Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friends, is Globalization

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The ultimate equation

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Don't Drink and Fly

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The Astrologer

Monday, October 03, 2005

Letter for Dad

Father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes.
But
it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".
Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house.I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer.
Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!!!