Monday, January 16, 2006

Marketing fundamental

A Professor at one of the IIM's (INDIA) was explaining
marketing concepts to
the Students:-


1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and
say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct
Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to h er and pointing at
you says:
"He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and
get her telephone number. The next day, you call and
say: "Hi, I'm
very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and
straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a
drink, you open
the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after
she drops it, offer
her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you
marry me?" - That's
Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and
says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" -
That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I
am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard
slap on your face. -
That's Customer Fe edback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I
am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to
her husband. - That's
demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before
you say anything, another person come and tell
her: "I'm rich. Will you
marry me?" and she goes with him - That's
competition eating into your
market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before
you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife
arrives. - That's restriction for
entering new markets


STATUTORY WARNING
Proposing a girl is injurious to wealth

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Types Of Wives

HARD-DISK Wife
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Wife
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Wife
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live
without her.

EXCEL Wife
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your
four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Wife:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Wife:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Wife:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Wife:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Wife:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Wife:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

Laptop Wife:
Most desired possession, but always belongs to some one else

VIRUS Wife:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.